Jennifer Garner at the premiere of “The Tribes of Palos Verdes” in Los Angeles.
Miss Jennifer, you didn’t ask for it, but we’re here to offer our help anyway. And besides, you kinda did ask for it. For what else is this outfit but a cry for help, dear?
Look, you’ve shed about 220 pounds of dead weight in your life and judging by the trailer for this film, it is a Very Important Film. A prestige drama with the whiff of awards nominations to it. Maybe it’s not the kind of film that’ll ride you all the way to Oscars night, but it looks like a strong piece with some decent buzz to it. Which means this cocktail lounge hostess look you’ve got going on needs to be torched. You’re Catherine-Zeta-Jonesing it, dear. This is aging, with a va-va-voom vibe that really doesn’t seem like your thing.
Cute separates and fun little frocks with some freshness to them; that’s what you’re gonna want right now. You want to opt for approachable style over glamour. The buzzword isn’t “gorgeous,” it’s “cute.” Names to consider: Prada, Altuzarra, Erdem. Consider a velvet suit instead of a sleeveless velvet dress. A high-fashion sweater over maxi skirt with a slit and knee-high boots. Drop the chandelier earrings, freshen up the makeup palette and rethink the over-the-shoulder hair. It’s not “relatable mom” or “movie star” you’re shooting for. It’s more along the lines of “confident artist with style.”
And now, our Bitter Kittens will offer their own advice, some of which may contradict ours, in which case it should be ignored, Jennifer.
Johanna Ortiz Red Strapless Velvet Dress
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]