Line up, kittens! Line up! Spit-spot and all that shit!
Yes, the time has once again come for us all to unsheathe our claws and let loose our weekly frustrations on all the celeb-folk who failed to rate their own posts this week. And what makes this so wonderful is that the bitchery and judgment doesn’t have to stop after this post, darlings! Because there was so much mediocrity piled up that we have to split this platter of leftovers into TWO portions!
So put your judgin’ bra on and let’s get down to it, ladies.
Andrea Riseborough in Ralph Lauren
Because of the hair, this tends to come off a bit more intense than a fairly basic red gown would on the average red carpet. We weren’t feeling the look at first, but the more we took it in, the more we appreciated how it manages to be slightly off even though it’s so on-paper standard.
Anya Taylor-Joy in Gucci
It’s weird to see such an ’80s-esque style paired with ’70s platform shoes. Maybe we’re being too literal about it, though. At any rate, the textile is gorgeous even if the dress is a bit overdesigned.
Sort of après–ski chic, which makes it an odd choice for the Hamptons.
Douglas Booth in Burberry
Cute first-year associate at the firm.
Kind of heavy, stiff and grandiose for the occasion.
He has a tendency to pick suits in interesting colors, but the fit always seems to be way off.
Greta Gerwig in Ralph Lauren
It’s nice, but it looks awfully heavy for a strapless dress paired with sandals.
The Doctor is in – and she’s looking pretty chic, if slightly overstyled. Fab as those shoes are, they’re fighting with the dress a little.
Kate Bosworth in Vintage Versace
Sweetie, we all decided to kill the pajama trend. Did you not get the text?
The dress is tacky and looks a little odd with pumps, but we’ll give the lady this one. She hasn’t looked this good on a red carpet in a while.
Olivia Cooke in Philosophy di Lorenzo Serafini
It’s ever-so-slightly punk/goth/glam, which means there’s a germ of a good idea here, but it doesn’t quite come together. If all the lace was black and they really leaned into the goth part, this might work.
Always somewhat cutely sloppy on the RC. We can’t say it works for him, exactly, but he’s worn us down with his consistency. At least the ensemble looks expensive and well-chosen, even if he has no interest in showing it off.
Uzo Aduba in Rebecca Taylor
It’s alright. It’s what we’ve come to expect from her. That’s a little backhanded, we know. She needs a freshen-up.
Back in a jiffy for Part TWO, darlings!
[Photo Credit: INSTARimages, Getty Images]