Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum and Mel B Battle it Out at the “America’s Got Talent” Live Show

Posted on August 24, 2017

Look, no tea no shade, but all we’re saying is we really can’t wait for the Emmys poledancing to start.

Until then, we have the following judges of talent to consider.

 

Tyra Banks in Stello

Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson. We fully support Miss Tyra’s adoption of the Norma Desmond school of style: Slightly Crazed Diva. She’s always been a drag queen and we consider this more of the same. And to be honest, there’s a certain sense of sassy style to it. She prevents it from looking chic by opting for clown makeup, but how else would we know it was Tyra if she didn’t bring just a little cray to the proceedings?

 

Heidi Klum in Vatanika

Heidi is Miss Long Hair/Don’t Care. She asked one of her kids to go to her closet and find the first dress still in the dry cleaning bag and this is what they brought back to her. A pony, some big honking earrings from the Heidi Klum Kollection (we’re presuming) and she’s good to go. Let Tyra have the cray side of the street. Fraulein’s going out in little more than a slip because she knows that’s all she needs.

 

Mel B in Yas Couture

 

And then there’s this one.

To be fair, it’s a lot less insane than her sheer peacock-crotch pantsuit of last week. And we have to begrudgingly admit that, tacky as it is, that dress has possibilities. It needs to simmer down on the front slit action and give her boobs some room to breathe, but we don’t actually mind the sort of Bob Mackie-esque combination of Art Deco, glam, and a vague sort of Egyptiana/sci-fi feel. We can’t with that hair, though.

 

[Photo Credit: Trae Patton/NBC]

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