Clip your nails, roll up your sleeves, and stay frosty, kittens, because the OLYMPICS OF RED CARPET JUDGING is about to get under way. With Met Gala 2017 officially put to bed, it’s time for us professional bitches to get to work telling everyone invited how they’re big stupidheads and nobody thinks they’re special anyway. Jerks.
Or maybe we’ll just rag on their clothes. More fun. Especially since every dress cost more than your house.
Shall we get started, then? Miss Katy, please step into the judging circle.
Look, here’s our Met Gala take in a nutshell: The theme each year refers to the accompanying exhibition in the Met’s Costume Institute. This year’s theme pays tribute to Rei Kawakubo and her work as lead designer at her label Commes des Garcons. The Met Gala isn’t a costume party and the theme of the event isn’t a dress code. Kawakubo’s work is not at all easy to pull off for even the most experienced fashionistas, so we’re not inclined to get too worked up if attendees went their own way. We’re going to judge them not according their strict adherence to the theme, but according to our own particular set of criteria for the Met Gala, which can be summed up succinctly as “Go big or stay home.” The way we see it, Met Gala attendees should be dragged for wearing safe and pretty fare; the kinds of dresses and gowns that would look perfectly at home at a film premiere or an awards ceremony. That is not what the Met Gala is for. It’s for BIG FASHION MOMENTS.
So on that level, Mission Accomplished, Miss Katy. We really don’t like the headpiece at all, with its gewgaws and near-illegibility, but we’re not at all mad at the rest of it. In fact, it’s kind of fabulous that she showed up at the biggest red carpet event of the year dressed as a demonic bride right after a fairly public breakup. How can we not love that? She nailed the essence of the night, as far as we’re concerned; giving us exactly what the Met Gala red carpet is supposed to be all about.
Customized Maison Margiela by John Galliano Ensemble Featuring a Red Décortiqué Embroidered Wool Coat paired with a Red Tulle and Silk Chiffon Embroidered Dress and Red Silk Tulle Veil from the Fall 2017 Couture Collection
Lorraine Schwartz Jewelry
[Photo Credit: John Nacion Imaging/startraksphoto.com, Getty Images, IMAXTree]
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