Girl, we realize the following sentence might just be a weensy bit ridiculous when leveled at you, but we feel it must be said.
PUMP YOUR BRAKES.
We’re all for the “Be Me or Do Me”-style attention-seeking, darling. We wrote the book on it, after all. But this is some serious tryhard action we’re seeing here. We don’t mind the goofy-as-hell…”dress,” we suppose you’d call it. No, really. We don’t. It’s your schtick to go out in these super-villainess costumes on the regular, so it would be silly of us to start complaining about it now. But we tend to think if you’re going out covered in metal snakes, maybe you save the gladiator thigh-highs for an ensemble that will actually need the kick they provide. Your snake “dress” just doesn’t need the help, dear. And even if we were feeling generous and decided the whole look in toto is perfect and requires a neckroll-and-fingersnap response on our parts, we’d be stopped dead in our tracks by the over-the-top posing. Girl, we don’t mind anyone who wants to vogue their way in front of the paps, but could you at least act like you’re having a little fun with it? You look like you’re negotiating a hostage crisis in semaphore.
Charbel Zoé Snake Detail Embellished Sheer Couture Dress
Philipp Plein ‘Gabrielle‘ Gladiator Sandals from the Spring 2017 Collection
[Photo Credit: FameFlynet Pictures, plein.com]