Vanity Fair Oscar Party 2017 Red Carpet Rundown, Part 2

Posted on March 02, 2017

Dolls, kittens and darlings, it is time for the fashion parade surrounding the 89th Academy Awards to come to a close, not with a bang, not even with a whimper, but with some cranky commentary from two bitchy queens who’ve gone cross-eyed assessing an insane number of gowns in the last 96 hours.

Join us, won’t you? On a journey of discovery and bitchiness.



Angelica Huston

She’s an icon and we love her but we don’t much love this. White’s not her best color and we dislike the sheer/opaque/sheer effect.


Diane Kruger in Alexandre Vauthier Couture

Honey, please. Tone it down a notch, would you?



Freida Pinto in Elie Saab

That is not …

How to put this kindly…

That must’ve been the dress at the very bottom of the Elie Saab pile. Either that or it has a label that reads “Ellie Sabb.”



Hailee Steinfeld in Ralph & Russo Couture

We must have said this at least two dozen times in the last week, but if this was any other color but “Band-Aid,” it would be a stunner.



Jessica Alba in Ralph & Russo Couture

Betty Draper’s bathrobe.



Kat Graham in Balestra

The colors aren’t all that … sophisticated all together like that, but we love it for being so colorful.



Kate Beckinsale in Zuhair Murad

Seen it a million times.

This type of dress, we mean. Not her panties.



Kate Bosworth in J. Mendel

Gorgeous – and we almost never say that about her style choices. What a beautiful color.



Kerry Washington in Michael Kors Collection

Seems a little ill-fitted in the bodice. Not much loving the color for her, either.



Nina Dobrev in Dior

Christ on a breadstick, ENOUGH with the underwear dresses.



Olivia Munn in Giambattista Valli

There was one hell of a ladies room brawl that night between all the red prairie dress-wearers. There were over three dozen of them at last count.



Orlando Bloom




Portia Doubleday in Naeem Khan

Pretty fabulous.



Rachel Bloom in Christian Siriano

It’s just okay. We suspect it’s exactly what she wanted, given how she dresses, but like so much of what she chooses, it tends toward the matronly side.



Rashida Jones in Prada

Beautiful. In fact, that’s the most conventionally beautiful Prada we’ve seen in a long time. Don’t know how she snagged it, but it’s doing great things for her.



Ricky Martin (with Jwan Yosef)

Loosen up on the jackets, boys.



Teresa Palmer in Vivienne Westwood Couture

Silver metallics were probably the biggest trend of the night overall. This one’s fine. Good, even. Just overshadowed by a whole bunch of other ones.



Zoë Kravitz in Armani Privé

Love the hair. The dress is okay, but the top looks a bit too much like a bathing suit and we saw too many instances of that sort of thing this week. It works for her. We just don’t love that trend.

And with that, our constant bitching about the fashions of Oscars 2017 comes to an end, darlings. For the most part, the main event was staid and respectful (not to mention financially sponsored, most likely) from a style perspective, while the after-parties were the place for people to really indulge themselves and let their fashion freak flags fly. We’ll have more to say on that topic in tomorrow’s podcast, kittens.



[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

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