T Lo’s Be-Your-Own-Damn-Valentine Self-Care Gift Guide

Posted on February 08, 2017

Kittens, we realize we’re probably getting this one up a little late in the month, but there’s a good reason for that. See, our holiday gift guides were a huge success and it seemed to us that a Valentine’s guide would make the perfect followup. There’s just one thing: We are so not the queens who are going to offer up some sort of heteronormative ode to romantic love and consumerism. As we rather painstakingly compiled lists of lady gifts and guy gifts and various other sorts of “Be Mine”-style ephemera, we realized just how little it was appealing to us. And if we didn’t like the shopping guide we were compiling, why would we ever ask any of you to buy anything off it?

No, a standard Valentine’s gift guide was not going to be the way to go for us. We knew what our kittens needed: some self-care, self-love, and self-indulgence. To hell with Valentines. Treat yourself, dammit.


First stop on our “It’s all about me this year” gift guide?

The SELF-CARE Department:



Darlings, do you feel that your hands are not quite as soft or your lips quite as supple as they need to be? Do your feet cry out for a hot soak? Do you find yourself wishing you had some lovely scented towelettes in your purse?

Treat yourself. It’s that simple. Go ahead and buy yourself a gift basket full of bath products. Why not? You know what you like so there’s no chance of getting stuck with candy-scented crap, right?

Next, once you have taken care of your bodily needs and nourishment, it’s time to consider…

SELF LOVE (No, not like that)



Basically, if it’s got a heart or a kiss on it, Lorenzo found it for you. These are the most Valentiney of all the gifts here, but there’s nothing wrong with buying yourself some candy or petit fours, is there? Treat yo self. Nothing wrong with buying your own damn heart jewelry or your own sassy heart purse, right? Show the world your heart is full of love. And also that you have fabulous taste.

And finally, if your pedi’s up to date and you’re full up on heart-shaped items, it may be time for a little…



Really, the thinking here was, “Don’t you deserve something pretty and/or fabulous in your life?” Maybe you define that as a pretty pink scarf or maybe you define it as the wit and wisdom of RuPaul. Maybe a brass “darling” is what you need in your life. Or cute pussycat S&P shakers. Maybe you just need to sit with your DENIAL hat on, burn some incense and write something passionate down with your feather pen. The point to all of these gifts is that they’re something you decided you wanted and that’s all the reason you need.

Treat yourself. And Happy Damn Valentine’s day, darlings!




Standard disclaimer: All of the above are clickable links that will take you to online retailers who give us a commission based on any sales we send their way, because we find money to be somewhat useful in our day-to-day lives. Please note that the sale runs for these items can be brief and some of the links may either take you to an item that’s no longer available or no longer available at the sales price. You gotta be quick, kittens!

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