We’re Kicking Off Day 3 of Oscars 2017 Coverage With Jared Leto at the Vanity Fair Party Because Why Not

Darlings, before we launch into the third straight day of gowns that cost more than your car and earrings that cost more than all the houses on your block put together, let’s amuse our bouches by checking in on…

a jackass.

Boy, the Jordan Catalano glow has all but disappeared, hasn’t it? He’s still got the looks, but he’s Depping it up like crazy as he collides with middle age. Johnny went the “scarves and trinkets” route with his over-styling, but Jared just throws on all the high-fashion labels he can get his hands on and calls it done. What makes it rage-inducing is that he tends to make everything look a bit worse with this approach. That coat is actually stunning, but you have to wave away all the douche fumes to even see it. He’s like a straight male Edina Monsoon.

Come to think of it, Johnny Depp is sort of a straight male Patsy Stone, isn’t he?

…

Okay, we should probably go make a second pot of coffee, because an Absolutely Fabulous remake starring Johnny Depp and Jared Leto is starting to make some sort of fucked-up sense to us right now.

Style Credits:
Gucci Embroidered Reversible Kimono, T-shirt, and Black Trousers from the Spring 2017 Collection
Gucci Loafers

[Photo Credit: Getty Images, IMAXtree]

• Gucci
• Jared Leto
• Oscars
• Oscars 2017
• Red Carpet
• Vanity Fair
• Vanity Fair Oscar Party