Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson Roll Out of Bed for the “Fifty Shades Darker” Germany Premiere

Posted on February 08, 2017


And the most passive-aggressive red carpet tour of all time continues, darlings. Today, our participants opted not to shower and gave themselves only about 5 minutes to get ready. Presumably.



We’re hitting the wall on this dude and his sour ass. You’re hot and you keep accepting checks to BE hot. Suck it up, you poor thing.

Also, your suit is awful and you should feel bad about wearing it in public. What is with the bizarre fit on this thing? It literally looks like he’s wearing someone else’s suit.



To be fair, that’s a pretty spectacular dress. And it does appear to be the case that she alloted just enough time for someone to slap some color on her lips. But that HAIR. How did anyone think that sloppy non-do was a good idea for a slinky, slit-to-the-hip, backless sequined gown? We’re not asking for big hair or even sexy hair. Just not “pot-scrubbing hair.” Is that so wrong, darlings?



SMILE. You’re RICH, YOUNG, and HOT, for God’s sake.



Style Credits:
Saint Laurent Black Sequined Long-Sleeve Dress with an Open Back
Neil Barrett Gray Two-Button Suit

[Photo Credit: DDP/INSTARimages.com]

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