Oscars 2017: Dakota Johnson Big Pile of Gucci Silliness

Posted on February 27, 2017

 

Yeah, no.

Look, we’ve been spewing opinions about the 2017 Oscars for almost 24 straight hours now. We could be all “Oooh, it references classic Hollywood, ’30s Joan Crawford realness!” or “It’s just the kind of romantic soignee style that best suits her” along with maybe a half-hearted “But we don’t like the color” or “She let us down with the hair.”

Screw that. It’s a silly-looking dress in a pukey non-color worn by a gal who needs some serious impact and styling work in order to prevent her from becoming totally invisible because she’s so bland. The sad bow is hiddy, the jewelry is almost hilariously wrong for it and the hair styling should, in a just world, result in firings and possible lawsuits. And unless a gal is planning to be lowered into an arena via helicopter, satin gowns should always be considered a red carpet NO.

We’re tired. We’re cranky. We see no need to be anything but blunt about this.

Harrumph.

 

Style Credits:
Gucci Champagne Satin Gown with Plissé Detail and Cascading Bow at the Waist from the Spring 2017 Collection
Cartier Jewelry

[Photo Credit: Getty Images, IMAXTree]

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