Katy Perry’s Marchesa Gown for the UNICEF Snowflake Ball is Literally Everything

Posted on November 30, 2016

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And now, a one-act play, starring everyone’s favorite cranky gay couple.

Lorenzo: Let’s talk about this Katy Perry Marchesa gown.

Tom: Jesus. It loo–

Lorenzo: I love it.

Tom: Whut.

Lorenzo: People always hate Marchesa, but I don’t care. I love it. It’s crazy and fun and romantic.

Tom: I agree with one of those assessments. To me, it looks like … like …

Lorenzo: You’re not usually at a loss for words.

Tom: Doesn’t that tell you something? This is unquantifiably —

Lorenzo: Oh, look. You found a word.

Tom: — awful. You know what it looks like?

Lorenzo: I can’t wait for you to tell me.

Tom: It’s like … Did you ever rent a shitty beach house with tacky decor?

Lorenzo: …

I —

Tom: And there’s always that one lamp; the one with a million shell pieces and starfish fragments and glass beads and faux fisherman’s net hot-glued to it in a frenzy of theme-decorating madness?

Lorenzo: “Starfish fragments?” What the —

Tom: Or, like, a really over-the-top, crafted-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life bridal shower favor.

Lorenzo: I think that’s enough coffee for you today.

Tom:  Oh! It’s like one of those SUPER-tacky fiber-optic, color-changing Christmas tree angels we saw the other day!

Lorenzo: I’m sorry I even asked.

Tom: Look at the sparkly fungus growing up her boobs!

Lorenzo: You have no taste.

Tom: Are those chrysanthemums on her chest, would you say? Can we call them tit mums?

 

Style Credits:
Marchesa Pleated Grecian Gown Featuring Iridescent Lace Detailing and Fabric Flower Corsages from the Spring 2017 Collection
L’ Dezen Rose Gold Diamond Floral Earrings

[Photo Credit: Michael Loccisano/Getty Images, IMAXTree]

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