Ariana Grande Helpfully Illustrates Why We’re So Judgmental

Posted on November 17, 2016

Ariana Grande at NBC’s ‘Hairspray Live!’ Press Junket at the NBC Universal Lot in Universal City, California.

 

“T Lo,” the imaginary children ask, “Why are you so mean about what our beloved celebrities wear? Is it because you hate them? Are you jealous of them? Is fashion a bad thing?”

We chuckle indulgently (for one is supposed to chuckle when children ask stupid questions, lest one overreacts and gives them some sort of complex that will later require therapy) and set them straight (so to speak). “Oh no, little mouth-breathing kittens,” we reply through our chuckles. “Nothing could be further from the truth. We LOVE celebrities! We LOVE fashion! And we extra-special LOVE when celebrities and fashion collide head-on! But you see, the worlds of celebrity and fashion, when they collide on the red carpet, produce moments that practically beg for us to be judgmental bitches!”

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“Like, for instance, when Ariana Grande puts on a free – and hideous – pair of $3000 overalls and smugly poses like she poops ice cream, when in fact, she looks utterly ridiculous! Our bitchiness serves as a balm to all that silly shallowness. It’s really about healing the world, little darlings.”

Then we give them chewable vitamins and send them on their way. Because we believe that children are our future and we don’t want our future walking around with weak bones because then they won’t be able to carry us around on their backs when we need them to.

 

 

Style Credits:
Hannah Jinkins Silk and Coated Denim Overalls
Irit Design Earrings
Vanessa Mooney Choker
Richard Braqo Shoes

[Photo Credit: Parisa/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, ln-cc.com]

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