Tom Hiddleston Heals His Heart with Gucci and Bitches

Posted on September 27, 2016

British actor Tom Hiddleston is the newest face of Gucci’s Cruise 2017 tailoring ad campaign. The campaign was shot at American artist Tony Duquette’s Dawnridge Estate in Los Angeles by Glen Luchford and styled by Joe McKenna.

 

A Story of Loss and Rebound, in Pictures. And Gucci.

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“My heart. It is cracked, Esmerelda. Only the sensual stroking of your luscious hair while lying around in ridiculously expensive Italian suiting can ease my pain.

Is your sister about?”

 

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“In truth, it was a form of short-term madness, I suppose. I don’t know what came over me. You know how the Americans can be. After a while, all that cheering and hugging starts getting to a man. Before it’s possible for any right-thinking person to truly get their bearings, one finds themselves giddily rifling through kitchen drawers for a Sharpie so they can write yearbook photo captions on their vest and parade it around in public like a manic sorority sister on a weekend coke bender.

Alas.

Calliope, darling, you haven’t told me what you thought of my slippers.”

 

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“Yes, you’re both right. I was damned by my own folly. How reckless I was! How arrogant! Oh, I wanted Bond. I could taste it, like fine wine licked off the belly of an Italian heiress in the midday Riviera sun. Foolishly, I thought it within my grasp if only I could get the press and public on my side. The siren, the jezebel understood my raging ambitions well and whispered promises of helping me secure it. I would have cut out my own heart if she asked me to. Little did I know then, she would.

Hm.

Men can’t really get away with wearing Mary Janes, can they?”

 

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“No, of course not. I never really loved her. I loved what she represented, you see. Youth! Money! America! Popularity! And I suppose I, for my part, represented the kind of breeding and erudite worldliness that she so tragically lacked. My dears, have you ever heard the line about Astaire and Rogers, that legendary dancing duo of the silver screen? ‘He gave her class and she gave him sex appeal?’ Well you see, it was much the same with us. She gave me Instagram followers and I made people believe she could breathe with her mouth closed.

Oh, you’re so right, Esmerelda. That was cruel and bitter of me. It’s just that these boots make me feel so aggressive!

When is Yvonne arriving?”

 

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“Now our party is complete.

Oh, my beautiful angels, there are not words to express my gratitude for helping me through this difficult time. When a man’s heart is broken and his dreams lie in ruins, when he has betrayed his principles and exposed his shortcomings to all and sundry, it is imperative, lest he risk losing his very soul, that he surround himself with as much beauty as he can find. For you see, beauty is the only truly effective balm for a broken heart, my darlings. Especially if it’s really expensive beauty. Not like, flowers in nature or sunsets or such nonsense.

It is no exaggeration to say that you three, along with very expensive Italian clothing and the free use of this villa, have healed me in ways both profound and gleefully trivial, my darlings. I will always cherish you for that.

Now, who wants to go walkies?”

 

[Photo Credit: Courtesy of Gucci/Glen Luchford]

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