Matt Damon and Alicia Vikander at the “Jason Bourne” Australian Premiere

Posted on July 05, 2016

Matt Damon and Alicia Vikander attend the premiere of “Jason Bourne” at Hoyts Entertainment Quarter in Sydney, Australia.

 

Darlings, it’s a new day and the dawn of a new week (for Americans, anyway) as we all get over the hangover from our aggressive patriotisming. And do you know what that means? It means it’s time for some judgment.

 

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All told, we’d say it took about ten minutes for him to get ready. We’d also say that it shows. The suit is blocky and too large on him, not to mention drearily business-like. The tie and shirt combination ensure that no part of this outfit will be remotely photogenic or flattering to him. And apparently he’s spent the last few weeks underground or something, because his face is rather gaunt and pale (his hands are curiously tan, however). Matt, with your coloring, you need a blue suit, white shirt and brightly patterned tie. You also need to slap on some bronzer and get your hair trimmed. Everything about this look says “perfunctory.” This is not how you relaunch your most popular franchise.

 

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This is … pretty enough. We suppose.

We don’t mean to be damning it with faint praise, but it seems to be the only kind of praise we can manage. Thing is, we’re not huge fans of the color on her. Whether it’s her natural skin tone or the use of tanners and bronzers, she’s always fairly bronzey herself. Putting her in an orangey bronze like this is akin to putting Elle Fanning in a pale pink. It’s not terrible, but it does nothing with her own coloring. Plus the bodice strikes us as a little twee and unsophisticated. It’s the epitome of an okay dress. And she must’ve felt the same way because she did nothing to style it. Clean face, flat hair, and the only jewelry is a ring. Once again, the word that comes to mind is “perfunctory.”

 

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Feel the camaraderie. You two kids better step up your poledancing game or we’ll be forced to conclude you’re embarrassed by this film.

 

 

 

Style Credits:
Rodarte Ruffle Dress from the Fall 2012 Collection
Bulgari Jewelry

[Photo Credit: Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images, IMAXtree – Video Credit: Universal Pictures via YouTube.com]

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