Elizabeth Olsen poses with her award for Actress of The Year with James Norton at the ELLE Style Awards 2016 in London, England.
T: These shots make me want to cry.
Lo: Her outfit’s bad, but it’s not that bad. Get a hold of yourself.
T: It’s not her, it’s him.
Lo: He’s making you cry? Why, because he’s so dreamy and you can’t handle all that beauty?
T: Simmer down. No, because he’s so dreamy and he looks like crap.
Lo: And that makes you want to cry?
T: Yes, because he’s got full lips, blonde eyelashes and the skin tone of a basement-dwelling viking, and as someone who also has full lips, blonde eyelashes, and the skin tone of a basement-dwelling viking …
Lo: I can see where this is going…
T: I’m upset that someone as beautiful as him can’t avoid looking like an eyeless fish in photographs.
Lo: You’re mean.
T: No, I’m panicking. I’ve been kidding myself all these years that someday I’d figure out a way to not look like an eyeless fish when a flash goes off, but if someone as drop dead gorgeous as he is can’t figure it out, what hope does a mere, pale, full-lipped blond-lashed nobody as myself have?
Lo: There, there.
T: HE NEEDS BRONZER. AND HE SHOULD OPEN HIS EYES REALLY WIDE, THAT’S WHAT A PHOTOGRAPHER TOLD ME ONCE.
T: HE SHOULD DYE HIS EYELASHES – OH GOD, I DON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE MYSELF ANYMORE.
Lo: You’re forgetting the most important thing.
T: *snf* What?
Lo: They’re both wearing shit outfits.
T: That does make me feel a little better, thank you.
Calvin Klein Collection Ensemble from the Spring 2016 Collection
Christian Dior Black Pumps
[Photo Credit: Stills Press/INFphoto.com, Landmark/PR Photos, IMAXTree]