Darlings, it’s not exactly Hollywood’s prom night nor is it quite the parade of superstars it wants to be, so let’s make the People’s Choice to just lump all the rest of the People’s Choice Awards attendees together so we can do one mass-judging and put this whole show to bed.
Yes? Yes. Let us begin. Remember to be forceful and brief, darlings. Like a quickie in a cab.
The hair’s not doing it for us, but this is not bad, all things considered. Or maybe it’s just that we’ve seen worse and we’re trying to be nice.
Yuck. There’s way too much going on here.
Why do you look like a kid wearing his big brother’s suit, Josh? Buy something that fits.
We can’t say we like it, but we appreciate it for being different. We just wish the bust fit her better.
That neckline is irritating and the clashy nature of the shoes is making our eyelids twitch.
The role of Jennifer Aniston will be played by Kate Hudson for tonight’s performance.
No, girl. The proportions on this thing are terrible.
Modesty chic. We think we like it. It’s different.
Everything from her thighs up is okay. Everything below that is disastrous.
A weirdly shaped dress the color of bathroom fixtures. Girl, what are we going to do with you?
Don’t love the hair, but the outfit’s pretty good.
Cute dress, but no on the shoes. We can get behind flats and even get behind some kind of high-end sneaker if you want to be sassy about it, but she looks like she’s ready to go jogging in sequins.
This smells like circa 2001 Carrie Bradshaw.
To our surprise, we like Ellen’s look more than Portia’s.
Seems a little musty and formal somehow.
It’s a little on the plain side, but that’s kind of her deal. We like it. As always, she looks like she’s sporting a DIY haircut, though.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]