Critics’ Choice Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on January 19, 2016

Darlings, shall we wrap this muthafucka up?

Yes. Let’s.

 

America Ferrera in Ingie Paris
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A little too low-key for our tastes.

 

Amy Schumer in Calvin Klein Collection
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Seen her wear this a hundred times.

 

Aziz Ansari
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He can afford to look smug. He looks great.

 

Bryce Dallas Howard in Balmain
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Simple, elegant gown and a flawless face.

 

Constance Zimmer in Tracy Reese
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GOD BLESS YOU, Constance Zimmer, for having the brass ovaries to wear stripes on the RC. So many celebuladies are scared to death of them. Look how great you look!

 

Damian Lewis in Giorgio Armani
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Mmmm, no. A little too affected.

 

Emmy Rossum in Christian Dior
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We want to like it for that pop o’ glam, but it’s really just a weird dress.

 

Hayden Panettiere in Maria Lucia Hohan
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It’s okay, but we hate the color and it’s WAY TOO BOOBY.

 

Kate Beckinsale in Monique Lhuillier
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Pretty spectacular, we have to admit.

 

Joanne Froggatt in Roland Mouret
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Nicely done.

 

Marisa Tomei in Zuhair Murad
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Just a teeny bit on the cray side of things, but that’s kind of what we expect from her.

 

Mary J. Blige in J. Mendel
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Only a diva could make this work.

 

Maura Tierney in Max Mara
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She dresses exactly like a New York socialite – simple, sturdy gowns with no-fuss hair and face. That’s fine when you’re attending art galas and hospital benefits, but one should step it up a bit more if you’re an award-winning actress on a red carpet during awards season.

 

Mayim Bialik in Oliver Tolentino
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Modesty is her thang, which means she and we don’t always see eye to eye on the whole style thing because she tends to define “modesty” in somewhat frumpy terms. We don’t love this – it’s a bit too “politician’s wife” for us – but it’s one of her better attempts.

 

Niecy Nash in Gauri & Nainika
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That’s dramatically beautiful and the color looks amazing on her, but it really called for an up ‘do. Basic rule of thumb: if you think a Greek Goddess wouldn’t look out of place wearing your gown, you should put your hair up.

 

Rachel Bloom in Alexander McQueen
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We like the idea but the execution is lacking. Those are HORRIBLE shoes to pair with that pant length. And she needs a cuff or cocktail ring to finish the look off.

 

Rami Malek in Dior
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Hey, Boo.

 

Rosie Huttington-Whiteley and Jason Statham (both in Saint Laurent)
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She can make anything look good. He still looks like Gay Porn Homer Simpson.

 

Wes Bentley in Giorgio Armani
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Disappointing. You, sir, are far too hot to be wearing such schlubby pants and such a weirdly cut jacket. No one needs a three-button double-breasted jacket unless they’re like eight feet tall.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty Images, INFphoto.com]

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