Miss Universe 2015, Part 4: Freak-Flag Flying Fun Gals!

Posted on December 21, 2015

And for our final wrapup, a salute to those weird girls who just had to go their own way on things. We think we love them most of all.


Miss Curacao

“What am I? HAHAHA! You do not know. Why? Because you are drunk.

Curacao! HAHAHA!”


Miss Austria

“That’s right, cishet scum. Squirm in your seats because YOU WANT THIS.

Obviously, I’m not here to win this thing.”


Miss Cayman Islands

“I’m coral. That’s it, really. That’s the costume. ‘Come to the Caymans. We have coral.’

What do you want from me? This shit is stupid.”


Miss Malaysia

“Bitch, I told you; you gotta sell that shit. Look: I’m the QUEEN OF CORAL! ‘Under the sea! Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter!’ HAHAHAHAHA! Sexy marine invertebrates!

See? Like that.


Miss Ukraine

“Go ahead and sing and dance for attention if you must. Ukraine bakes bread. Is enough.”


Miss Honduras

“Honduras would like to take this moment to remind you all that you’re going to die. And then a dragon will probably eat you.”


Miss Hungary

“Because Hungary believes women are a puzzle with a crotch!”


Miss Ireland

“Ireland. On the outside, I am a modern druidic pagan priestess. Inside, I’m Riverdance on acid.”


Miss Thailand

“Because Thailand believes a woman is a long-haul vehicle with boobs!”


Miss Spain

“I have NO IDEA. They just told me to put it on and hold on to my dignity as best I can.”


Miss Netherlands


Don’t you want to come inside The Netherlands?”


Miss Guatemala

“Jesus, girl. Pump your brakes. And this is me talking.”


Miss Kosovo

“Kosovo has no need for showy costumes or sex appeal. Instead, we choose to cosplay as the stars of our own night-time soap operas.”


Miss New Zealand

“Two can play that game, Kosovo. And I’d just watch myself if I were you, Missy. You’ve made an enemy tonight.”


Miss Myanmar

“Please. If you just let me finish my song, this will all make sense.”




[Photo Credit: Richard D. Salyer, Patrick Prather]

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