Darlings, the planets all aligned somehow to give us something we’ve never seen before in all our years of red carpet bitchery: an army of Zoes, Zoeys and Zooeys invading the red carpet all on the same night. Our obsession toward pattern-seeking compels us to pit them against each other. Also, our need to find new and exciting ways to talk about red carpetry. At any rate, these ladies have little in common past the surface, but who cares? Let’s see how they did.
For our first Zoe, we have a bit of simple deconstructed elegance. Whether or not you like this look all comes down to whether or not you think deliberately fucked up knitwear has any aesthetic value. In our experience, anyone who’s ever picked up a knitting needle tends to hate this kind of technique. But we kind of like the overall look. It’s just so her.
Our next Zoe took a more practical, almost business-like turn. We like this look too, although the dark brown of the skirt feels a little visually heavy when it’s hovering above all that lightness and stuck below a black top. We would’ve switched out that top for something much lighter in tone to give it a more unified look. She’s almost pulling off those shoes.
Moving on from the Zoes…
Borderline twee, but it’s all so flawlessly executed we can’t bring ourselves to hate it. We do have some minor dislike toward it, however. We don’t much like the shape, which is so exaggerated as to make her look a little doll-like. Still, it’s distinctive and it suits her. The styling definitely works.
And for our final Z-girl…
She never met a pair of tights she didn’t love (and immediately try on) but they’re so wrong with this dress, which is no great shakes to begin with. Zooey, you are the worst of our Zoe(e)(y)s, we’re sorry to say.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]