Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Salma Hayek at the Giambattista Valli Spring 2016

Posted on October 07, 2015

Salma Hayek attends the Giambattista Valli Spring 2016 show during Paris Fashion Week in Paris, France.

 

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Salma, dear, you’ve been walking around in that enviable body for quite some time now, which is why we’re surprised to see you wearing a dress that’s so very wrong for it. It’s a pretty dress and a stylish one, and we can totally understand why you’d pick it from the massive pile of free merch at your daily disposal, but sweetie, it’s just Not Your Dress. There’s no way to say it but bluntly (which, let’s face it, is our favorite way of saying things), so here goes: Any gal with a substantial cup size should stay fairly far away from high ruffled necklines and puffy shoulder treatments because they’re just never going to be friendly to her shape. There is literally too much shape going on from your waist to your neck, darling. It’s a huge reason why Christina Hendricks’ twee-as-hell style preferences tend to fail her so often.

It’s not your fault, Salma, nor is it the dress’s. You two need to part and find better matches for yourself. Set this dress free on the wind where someone like Claire Danes can find it. Let’s get you in a blouse and pencil skirt, stat.

Also, you matched your eyeshadow exactly to your dress and now we’re just pissed off.

Style Credits:
Giambattista Valli Blue Crepe Ruffle Dress

[Photo Credit: Getty Images, mytheresa.com]

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