2015 Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic Red Carpet Rundown

Darlings! Let’s judge ALL the snooty B to D-listers! Okay? Okay!

Bitches… GO!

January Jones in Zimmermann

We would have accepted either the jacket or the hat, but not both. We would accept those shoes under absolutely no circumstances.

Selma Blair in Tamara Mellon/

Not bad, but the bag and shoes have nothing to do with the dress.

Victoria Justice in Lublu Kira Plastinina

It’s a cute enough skirt but that top does nothing for it. It would’ve been better in white.

Bellamy Young

Church clothes.

Cheyenne Jackson

Boy, those are not your pants. Congratulations on your thick thighs, but unfortunately, it means the skinny cut isn’t for you, Cheyenne.

Jaime King in Calvin Klein Collection

Perfectly chic little day look.

Darby Stanchfield

Perfectly chic little night look.

Michelle Trachtenberg

Did the invites indicate they preferred flowy floral maxis with clunky-as-hell shoes? None of this works for us. The shape of the dress is terrible.

Cara Santana (in Yigal Azrouël) and Jesse Metcalfe

Quadra-boob and inappropriate footwear.

Brittany Snow in Zimmermann

She got the memo, it seems.

Nina Dobrev in Badgley Mischka

Pretty, if a little try-hard.

Camilla Belle in Andrew Gn

We tend to think of black dresses as nighttime, but the stripes give it an appropriately sporty feel.

James Marsden

That’ll do, but we think it’s time for a hair cut, James.

[Photo Credit: Guillermo Proano/PR Photos, Getty Images]

• Red Carpet
• Red Carpet Rundown
• Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic