Henry, come with us right now. Don’t look back or make a scene. Just get away from the cameras and your publicist as quickly as you can. This is an intervention.
Because we are here to tell you: whoever was responsible for allowing you to stand in front of photographers looking like this is clearly your enemy and means to do great harm to you and your career. Like, they had to work really, really hard to take Superman and turn him into Chunky Middle-Aged Man Who Looks Like He Needs A Bath. Everything – from the hair to the whiskers to the dadjacket to the sansabelt slacks – works to turn a gorgeous, muscular 32-year-old into some old guy who likes to hang out in the park and play chess. Run, Henry Cavill. Run far away from the people who did this to you and never look back.
[Photo Credit: FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Getty Images]
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