Amy Schumer at “Trainwreck” Berlin Photocall

Posted on August 11, 2015

Amy, seriously. You can give it to us straight.

Are you trying to kill us?

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Berlin-Photocall-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Amy Schumer attends photocall for “Dating Queen” (“Trainwreck”) at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Berlin, Germany.

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Berlin-Photocall-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Berlin-Photocall-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Berlin-Photocall-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Berlin-Photocall-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Because there was some serious take-me-jesus going on this morning when we saw these shots. Honey, what…?

We don’t even know how to end that sentence because we don’t even know where to begin our critique. This is all so very, very wrong for this venue, dear. If you want to head out to the clubs and dance drunkenly with strangers, then girl, you are good to go. But you’re actually getting your picture taken on an actual red carpet to promote your actual movie.

Look, the hair’s okay and while the shoes are about as wrong as pretty much every shoe you’ve worn on this poledance, they’re not, in and of themselves, tacky or ugly. They just look crazy uncomfs and like you’re gripping to hold on for dear life. The makeup situation is still too flat and cakey. The dress is … okay. We like the shape of the skirt, but the peplum like thing around the waist isn’t flattering. And to be honest, you’re just putting out a little too much at once for a photocall. We’re thinking a venue like this calls for either tits or legs, but not both at the same time. And truth be told, given the usually casual, usually daytime setting of most photocalls, we’d argue the boob situation is the one that needs most correcting here. Especially since – and this is the part that caused all the screaming and crying in our house this morning – Girl, if you’re gonna wear the plunging neckline and your tanline is literally cutting your boobs in half, you’ve got to make that shit up. Or better yet, here’s an idea: don’t sport a plunging neckline.

Sweetie, we love you, but you are seriously living up to your “Trainwreck” title. Although not the German version, apparently.

[Photo Credit: Away!/PR Photos]

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