Jennifer Lopez Celebrates her Birthday in Bao Tranchi

Posted on July 27, 2015

Darlings, there is nothing to say but those two little words which say so much:

Of course.

Jennifer-Lopez-Birthday-Celebration-Red-Carpet-Bao-Tranchi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jennifer Lopez celebrates her 46th birthday at 1 Oak in Southampton in a Bao Tranchi ‘Geometrics’ cutout sheer bodywear dress paired with Casadei sandals.

Jennifer-Lopez-Birthday-Celebration-Red-Carpet-Bao-Tranchi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Jennifer-Lopez-Birthday-Celebration-Red-Carpet-Bao-Tranchi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Jennifer-Lopez-Birthday-Celebration-Red-Carpet-Bao-Tranchi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Jennifer-Lopez-Birthday-Celebration-Red-Carpet-Bao-Tranchi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Okay, we lied. We have a few more things to say.

We saw a headline late last night: “JENNIFER LOPEZ WEARS DRESS THAT LEAVES LITTLE TO THE IMAGINATION,” to which we silently replied (in that way crazy people do when they confuse news headlines with actual conversation) “HEADLINE WRITER WRITES HEADLINE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AT ANY TIME IN THE LAST 20 YEARS.”

As for the dress, we find ourselves shrugging and yawning more than anything else. This isn’t a dress to make her look more stylish. And we’d even argue that the primary purpose of the dress isn’t to make her look hot. If “fuckable” was Job One for this dress or even “make me look younger”, then it would have been something more conventionally sexy; say, along the lines of her famous Versace Grammy dress (which has its own Wikipedia entry, by the way). No, this is a dress you put on because you want to show off the fact that you can wear this dress. It’s the very definition of a statement dress. And that statement is quite simple, direct and basic: “I can wear this and you can’t, bitches.”

But still, there is tragedy at play here and it will be up to you kittens to determine which is the most tragic aspect of this ensemble: the fact that she’s clearly chasing after Kim Kardashian’s thunder or the fact that her makeup is so bad that it makes her lips look like an undercooked steak? Discuss these pressing issues of the day.

[Photo Credit: John Roca, PacificCoastNews]

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