Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Amy Schumer in Halston Heritage at the”Trainwreck” Sydney Premiere

Posted on July 21, 2015

Said in as disappointed a voice as can be mustered by two judgmental queens:

“Oh, Amy.”

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Sydney-Premiere-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Halston-Heritage-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Amy Schumer attends the premiere of “Trainwreck” at Event Cinemas George Street in Sydney, Australia in a Halston Heritage split-front column gown paired with black strappy sandals.

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Sydney-Premiere-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Halston-Heritage-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Halston Heritage Spaghetti Strap Belted Center-Slit Gown

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Sydney-Premiere-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Halston-Heritage-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Sydney-Premiere-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Halston-Heritage-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Sydney-Premiere-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Halston-Heritage-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Amy-Schumer-Trainwreck-Sydney-Premiere-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Halston-Heritage-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

The Frozen braid, dear? Really? We thought you were better than that.

This isn’t a terrible dress on its own merits. It’s just a terrible dress for her. It isn’t doing one good thing for her shape. It minimizes or squashes her bust, widens her shoulders, and pretty much obliterates her waist. There are FAR more complimentary styles and silhouettes for her out there. We would have thought this one would land on the reject pile within seconds of her trying it on but she must have been dazzled by … something.

And why pick a white gown? It’s one of the toughest colors to pull off in a gown if you’re getting your picture taken – especially if you’re pale and anything above a size 2.

If ever there was a starlet in need of a sassy gay, it’s this girl. She needs to start hearing some bitchy truths wrapped in love, the way only a sassy gay can deliver them.
[Photo Credit: INFPhoto.com, neimanmarcus.com]

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