Chrissy Teigen and John Legend at the 2015 Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation Gala

You ponder the phrase “Chrissy Teigen and John Legend at a Leo DiCaprio party in St. Tropez” for more than a second and you start gagging on all the potential chicness it implies. What you don’t do is picture two tourists who had half their luggage stolen.

But that’s the only way we can explain what’s going on here:

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend attend the 2015 Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation Gala at Domaine Bertaud Belieu in Saint-Tropez, France. Chrissy Teigen is wearing a Lanvin Rateau-inspired dress from the Spring 2015 collection and John Legend is in head-to-toe Giorgio Armani.

Lanvin Spring 2015 Collection

We will stipulate that hers is not bad. We don’t like the shape it makes, nor do we love the muddy/dark color scheme for her, but there’s a certain breeziness we can get behind even if we think it looks like a backup plan of an outfit. But the clutch doesn’t go at all and the shoes just don’t have the beachy-chic feel a look like this calls for. Those look like city sandals to us.

But his outfit makes us straight-up cranky. Those mismatched grays are making our eyelids twitch furiously. Can’t say we love the brown shoes either.

You guys, we hope you recover your luggage soon, but just in case you don’t and you somehow forgot it, here’s some very important advice to remember going forward. Stitch it on a throwpillow to remember it:

You’re fucking rich and can buy better outfits than this. 
[Photo Credit: Getty Images, IMAXTree]

• Chrissy Teigen
• Giorgio Armani
• John Legend
• Lanvin
• Leonardo DiCaprio
• Red Carpet