Amy Schumer at Apple Store NY Event

Posted on July 14, 2015

Amy, now that you’re on the upper end of the poledancing set, allow us to give you a little bit of advice here.

Amy-Schumer-The-Apple-Store-Trainwreck-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Amy Schumer attends “Meet The Filmmaker: Amy Schumer” event to promote her new movie “Trainwreck” held at the Apple Store SoHo in New York City.

Amy-Schumer-The-Apple-Store-Trainwreck-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Amy-Schumer-The-Apple-Store-Trainwreck-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Amy-Schumer-The-Apple-Store-Trainwreck-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

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It’s a pretty great dress. We’re not fans of the black zipper and we think the color isn’t dramatic enough for you, not to mention we think it could be fitted a bit better in the back, but for the most part, it’s a good choice for you and it makes you look good. However, it’s clear when looking at all those hellacious wrinkles, that in order for this dress to truly work in a picture-taking situation, you’re going to have to never, ever sit down while wearing it. Not if you plan on standing up again while wearing it. As we see it, you have one of two options when choosing to wear a dress like this. 1) You could hire one of those stalls they use to transport horses around and have someone drive you to the event while you stand the whole way. Or 2) You sleep in the Apple store the night before and get changed into the dress just before the event starts.

In other words, this is a good, but impossible dress.

Also, your bra’s too lumpy, girl.

[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com]

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