Alright, ya big attention whores. You failed to impress us enough to get your own posts, so we’re gonna lump you all together and do one big mass critique at once. Stand still while we judge.
Very pretty if a little on the grandiose side.
This read “cheap” on TV and that hem is an abomination.
The dress looks generic and the wig looks like it’s about to slide off her head.
Pretty color but otherwise very basic.
It’s pretty in an “old bedspread” kind of way but she never took her hands out of her damn pockets once. And the hair looks too casual with it.
David’s we could take or leave, but NPH’s gray tux is gorgeous.
Baby, you’re a firework.
It wounds us that he thinks he can go out in a wig, ten pounds of makeup and sporting a big ol’ Liberace necklace – and STILL remain in the closet.
Love the color on her, and the choker neck, but hate that pleat in the center of the skirt.
But nice tux.
We thought this was very pretty but seemed like something she’d worn before.
That’ll do nicely.
It’s sparkly and glamorous and there’s not a thing wrong with it, but it’s about as generic as an Oscars gown can get.
Love the skirt, which she is working to perfection here. That neckline broadens her shoulders, however.
Stiff, pale, and plastic-looking.
Very pretty, beautiful color, interesting bodice – but again, a totally unmemorable dress.
We cannot with black shirts and white tuxes. CANNOT.
Classic and elegant – but her face is starting to become indistinguishable from Joan Rivers’.
Hated the color and the bust is extremely unflattering.
The color may not be to our tastes, but the fit was exquisite and really showed off her post-baby curves.
That will also do nicely.
Hated the bandeau top underneath.
It’s very Oprah.
It’s up to you to decide what that means.
Pretty but underwhelming.
It’s not what we would call a great look, but it’s unique, we’ll give it that.
Not quite sure what we’re looking at here…
Hey, Boo II.
It’s a stunning gown. Her people really know how to sell the hell out of her, don’t they?
[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews, Getty Images]