Julia’s usually so half-assed when it comes to her red carpet choices. We can admit that we begrudgingly respect that she doesn’t play the poledancing game or take the red carpet too seriously. When she dresses for public appearance, there’s usually very little muss or fuss. It’s been decades since we’ve seen her in any princess gowns, for instance. Again, we respect that. It seems to us that she knows who she is and she dresses in a way that reflects it.
So we kind of sat up a little straighter in our seats when we got a glimpse of this during E!’s red carpet coverage, because at first glance, it looked like she’d found a way to marry her straightforward sensibilities with a little bit of va-va-voom, Hollywood style. We saw big hair, cleavage and a jumpsuit and got a little ahead of ourselves, it seems.
Because it’s just another half-assed look from Aunt Julia. It could have really been something, though. That’s what’s disappointing about it.
In case you’re reading Julia, dry your tears and pay attention. This is what you need to do to make this work:
1) Burn those shoes and find a silver strappy sandal.
2) Hem those pants to the ankle.
3) Find a better bra and hoist those ladies up.
4) Get the damn thing fitted correctly so it doesn’t look tight across your midsection.
5) Don’t push up your sleeves like you’re getting ready to do the dishes.
6) When your hair queen says he needs to empty another can of Aqua Net on you, hold your breath and let him do it.
We trust this will be helpful for future jumpsuit-wearing endeavors.
[Photo Credit: Peter West/ACE/INFphoto.com, PacificCoastNews.com, Koi Sojer/PacificCoastNews]
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