The T Lo 2014 Holiday Book Plate For Bitter Kittens – Only ONE Day Left!

Posted on November 19, 2014



Happy Holidays, darlings!

As world-famous taste-influencers and style gurus, we feel it’s long past time that we jump into the spirit of the season – capitalism – with both sets of feet and use our dual powers of astonishingly good taste and prolific opinion-forming to let you all know the chicest, hottest, most fabulous gifts of the season, according to us. Only we can tell you just the right gift to make your friend, loved one, or work acquaintance squeal with delight and say in wide-eyed wonder, “It’s JUST what I wanted! However did you know?”

Darlings, if you follow our advice, old wounds will heal, new alliances will forge, you’ll probably get a raise and you’ll definitely get laid. It’s possible you’ll drop 5 pounds and your skin will clear up too, but our lawyers tell us we can’t promise such things.

You absolutely will get laid, though.

Okay, starting off the list. Please note that links to purchase will be provided where possible, but we’ve also added a link to a printer-friendly version of the list you can print-out and take with you while you shop. We have not put any of the items in price order, so please double-check that you’re not overspending before clicking that “Buy” button, mkay?


Category 1a. Stocking stuffer: family member/close or casual friend/close or casual co-worker


We happily and strongly suggest the following:




APPARENTLY, this is a very hilarious and insightful book, because Cosmopolitan called it “the upside in believing the world revolves around you,” and the Philadelphia Daily News said it was a “Hilarious critique of celebrity culture, done as faux self-help,” and called it “Mandatory reading for anyone who loves celebs.” Also, we hear tell that the St. Louis Post-Dispatch said that it “dissect[s] the nature of celebrity in fine hilarious detail” and the New York Post noted that the authors “expound hilariously on what you can learn from the fame machine.” Also, we understand that the Chicago Sun-Times noted that it “Debunks the myths surrounding celebrity culture” while Metrosource magazine claimed that it was “filled to the brim” with the authors’ “signature snark and sass.”

Whew! Now that sounds like one hip and happening book that simply anybody who claims to be anybody must own  – at least one, if not several copies, right?

We’re whores. We never said otherwise. Here’s the link to where you can buy it. Give Daddy and Papa the happiest of holidays, darlings. Please don’t make us come to your houses and start harassing you.

No, really. Wouldn’t this make a fun gift for a friend or co-worker? Or a young adult who you say “shit” in front of a lot? Or your mom? Or your Grandmom? Your kid’s teacher? The lady who does your hair?

We’re just sayin’.

We’re also saying that IF YOU EMAIL US A RECENT PROOF OF PURCHASE, WE’LL SEND YOU AN AUTOGRAPHED, ILLUSTRATED BOOKPLATE that you can insert inside the front cover, personalized with whatever message you’d like. If you order it online, just take a screenshot of your order confirmation and if you bought it in a store, just take a picture of the receipt with your phone. Email it to tom and lorenzo at gmail with the subject line “DO THE HOLIDAYS”. Let us know your address and what you’d like the message inside to be and we’ll ship it off to you in time for Christmas. THE DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 18TH AT 8:00 AM, EASTERN.

As for the rest of your gift-giving needs … well… how could you possibly still have gift-giving needs after that, darlings? Really, now.

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