Gwyneth is deploying the Paltrow Smirk to let you all know that she’s judging you for judging her.
The abyss is gazing back at us, darlings.
At first, we were all “Girl, that’s not your dress,” because it completely obscures her shape, thickening her waist and … ensmallening her boobs.
Shut up. New word.
But then we look at the runway shot and see that the model is also sporting an enthickened waist and ensmallened boobs, forcing us to conclude that this is simply not a great design or a flattering dress on anyone. Maybe someone with curves could pull it off, but that bust doesn’t look very forgiving.
Killer shoes, though.
We think it’s time for Gwyneth to unleash a #BeMeorDoMe-style image and style makeover. It’s time to cut the flat-ironed hair and maybe try a color other than “straw.”
[Photo Credit: Joe Sutter/PacificCoastNews, Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images, IMAXTree]
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