The Boys of “The Expendables 3” Poledance

Posted on August 08, 2014

Four old drunks travel the world, punching photographers and getting arrested while their prissy gay sidekick stands by helplessly, constantly primping to cover the anxiety.

Tell us we got it wrong:

The-Expendables-The-Boys-Red-Carpet-Premieres-Photocalls-Part-2-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Kellan Lutz, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, and Wesley Snipes attend “The Expendables 3” France premiere.

The-Expendables-The-Boys-Red-Carpet-Premieres-Photocalls-Part-2-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Here are your style archetypes on display:

Mafioso, Mafioso, Mafiaso, Middle-Aged Dude In Tragic Boot-cut Jeans and a Mike Brady Perm, Guy Who Just Got Out of Jail.



The-Expendables-The-Boys-Red-Carpet-Premieres-Photocalls-Part-2-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)Kellan Lutz, Antonio Banderas, Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, and Jason Statham attend “The Expendables 3” French Photocall.

The-Expendables-The-Boys-Red-Carpet-Premieres-Photocalls-Part-2-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

And here we have:

Gay Man, Middle-aged Gay Man, Mafioso At a Family Barbecue, Cosby Sweater, Sleazy Guy Who Only Dates Strippers With Daddy Issues.


The-Expendables-The-Boys-Red-Carpet-Premieres-Photocalls-Part-2-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)Antonio Banderas, Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, and Kellan Lutz attend “The Expendables 3” Germany premiere. 

The-Expendables-The-Boys-Red-Carpet-Premieres-Photocalls-Part-2-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

And to wrap things up:

Recently Divorced Mid-life Crisis, Hitman, Aging Strip Joint Bouncer, Guy Who Just Got Out of Jail, Gay Man Trying To Look More Masculine By Putting on a Newsboy Cap and Not Shaving.

You’d think Snipes had been in jail since 1996, judging by his style sense.






[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

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