2014 CMT Music Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on June 05, 2014

YEEHAW, ya bitchy buncha kittens! Let’s get all judgmental-like, quick n’ dirty style! Are y’all ready? Line ’em up, before we drop any more vowels or consonants, because we’re startin’ to sound like a drag queen doin’ a Paula Deen impersonation!



Miranda Lambert in Celia Kritharioti
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Tackiest administrative assistant at the office holiday party!



Kate Walsh in Naeem Kahn Spring 2014
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This throw is on sale at Pier One Imports for $79.99!



Beth Behrs in Erin Fetherston Fall 2014
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This is kind of sweetly pretty, although we wish the underdress was in, say, a brilliant blue!



Brooklyn Decker in Jill Stuart
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She looks like she was hired to unveil an Apple product at a press conference!




Cassadee Pope in Theia
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The skirt looks way too much like an inverted flower to our liking, and the top looks like it was made out of a set of dishcloths, but we’ll give her some credit for trying to do something a little different.



Hillary Scott in L’Wren Scott Spring 2014
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Ain’t no way a slit-to-the-thigh pencil skirt can look anything but a little desperate! Save that shit for West Side Story, honey! And your shoes are ugly!



Jennifer Nettles in Halston Heritage
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Actually? Kinda fabulous.

Now stand up straight! Chin up, tits out!



Kacey Musgraves in Miu Miu
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Also kinda fabulous, although we’re not loving the bust and it does seem a little too formal for the event somehow!



LeAnn Rimes in Rani Zakhem Spring 2014
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Hillary Scott! Girl! You’re safe, honey! Turns out? You’re NOT the most desperate-looking gal here tonight! HAHA! I KNOW, right? Are you seeing this shit? All right, hon! Catch ya later! Love you too!



Jana Kramer in Michael Costello
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Thanks for getting the I Dream of Jeannie theme song stuck in our heads, Jana!



Kellie Pickler in Lorena Sarbu Pre-Fall 2014
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Can’t hate! Lady is selling it, even if she does look like she’s picking up some sort of regional realtor’s award or something!



Kirsten Bell in Zuhair Murad Fall 2014
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Betcha she sounds crunchy when she moves!


And we’re done! Peace out, girl scouts!




[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Getty Images]

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