2014 Critics’ Choice Movie Awards Red Carpet Rundown

It’s Saturday, darling. Only time enough for drive-by bitchery. Hop in.

Jessica Chastain in Nina Ricci

 It’s too tight on her. And while the color feels fresh, the gown doesn’t.

Aisha Tyler in Tadashi Shoji

 Morticia’s wedding gown.

Elisabeth Rohm in Carmen Marc Valvo

 Can we all just stipulate that the “Are those shadows or not?” dress is a calculated move?

Sophia Nelisse in J. Mendel

 Paper.

Brie Larson in Escada

Pretty enough dress, but the hair and makeup are seriously lacking.

Chiwetel Ejiofor in Burberry

 We just can’t sign off on the head. Maybe it’s for a role.

Bradley Coopper in Bottega Veneta

Love the color of the suit, but he looks a sweaty, frantic mess.

Meryl Streep

 Brava, Mary Louise. Possible ALL TIME best.

Kellan Lutz

A poodle in a tuxedo.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Reem Acra

She seems to have suddenly started dressing “of a certain age,” and she really doesn’t need to. Not that she should go chasing trends or youth, but she can be a little more snazzy than this.

Leonardo DiCaprio

 His head needs a rethink.

Jeremy Renner in Ermenegildo Zegna

 As does his, for that matter.

Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks

Aren’t they pretty much the fun aunt and uncle at the wedding? The ones doing shots and getting line dances started? Bless them.

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles

If they leaned in and kissed, Tumblr would burst into flames.

Margot Robbie in Elie Saab

That top could be potentially badass, but not paired with those wait staff pants. Hair and makeup are gorgeous.

Abigail Breslin in Badgley Mischka

For Oprah’s sake, you’re seventeen. Stop wearing Helen Mirren’s old dresses.

Kristen Bell in Pamella Roland

Gorgeous and dramatic. She’s really come into her own.

Emma Thompson in Alexander McQueen

This is awesome. Really perfect for her. But we once again wish she’d get rid of those shoes, which are obviously killing her. She got a great bit out of it for the Globes, but she doesn’t seem to realize how much it affects her pictures.

Ian Somerhalder in Dolce&Gabbana

 S’alright.

Christina Applegate in Marchesa

This was the night of the aging dress, apparently. The shoes really aren’t helping our opinion.

Matthew McCounaghey in Lanvin and Camila Alves in Paule Ka

Continuing their admirable trend of toning their innate tackiness way down for the awards ceremonies while still remaining true to themselves. He really needs better tailoring than that, though; especially if he plans on wearing metallic tuxedoes.

Jared Leto in Balmain

Oh whatever.

Leslie Bibb in House of Ronald

WAY too much going on for one dress/look.  It’s like those creepy origami towel creatures you find on your bed on cruise ships.

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com, Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com]

• 2014 Critic’s Choice Movie Awards
• Awards
• Critics’ Choice Movie Awards
• Red Carpet
• Red Carpet Rundown