Kellie Pickler in Badgley Mischka at the 2013 American Country Awards

Whenever there’s some sort of Country Music award show (and there’s one every 5 weeks or so, it seems), we always wind up making the same bitch: Where’s all the sparkle and honky-tonk? What’s with all this safe, Hollywood-stylist-approved blandness?

So we feel compelled somehow to defend this:

Kellie Pickler attends the 2013 American Country Awards at the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada in a Badgley Mischka dress.

Badgley Mischka Spring 2014 Collection

But them boobcakes are distracting the hell out of us. That’s just not a great look. We’re not sure what the purpose of that filmy sheer between her boobs is. It just looks like a really weird tanline.

But y’know… even if that odd neckline was a little more conventional and a little less revealing, we’d still probably have a problem with this dress. The color’s pretty, but man, is it ever over-designed. Sequined and beaded and shirred, with what looks like a World Wrestling Federation championship belt. It’s just too much for our delicate constitutions, kittens.

On the other hand, her hair and makeup look polished and pretty.

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans, PRN/PRPhotos.com, Isaac Brekken/Getty Images, IMAXtree]

• American Music Awards
• Awards
• Badgley Mischka
• Kellie Pickler
• Red Carpet