Miss Universe 2013 National Costumes – Part 3

Posted on November 12, 2013

It’s the final stop on the crazy train tour, darlings! Let’s DO this!



Miss Kazakhstan

 “Come to Kazakhstan and luxuriate in our coarse, heavy fabrics!”



Miss Guam

“GUAM IS IN THE HOUSE, HOS! And she’s got a great rack and a motherfucking coral crown. WOOOOO!!!!!!”





Miss Greece

 “As we like to say in Greece, ‘Here. Have a bird.'”




Miss Germany

 “Germany! We’re kind of like a ’90s Michael Jackson video on crystal meth!”




Miss Philippines

“Yeah, that’s right. Philippines is serving up Alexis Carrington Colby – WITH FEATHERS, BITCHES. The ’80s never ended here. DEAL WITH IT.”




Miss Malaysia

“These games must end, Thor. Now give me your hammer and swear your sexual fealty, or I will unleash my fury upon the nations of this earth.”



Miss Denmark

 “Oh, God. Denmark is just so fucking sick of the mermaid thing.”



Miss Ecuador




Miss Austria

“Austria. Where not a single gay man can be found working in costume design.

Seriously. I got this at a convent.”



Miss Curacao

“Come to Curacao and get your FREAK ON! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I’m a little crazy!”

Miss New Zealand

“We call this ‘Zwerking.'”



Miss China




Miss Estonia

 “Estonia! Where our superheroes are also drag queens!”




Miss Haiti

“I gotta say, Miss Haiti is really FEELING IT right now, you guys. Check this pose.”





Miss Romania

“Romania is sick of those Latin and South American bitches and their fucking feather costumes! We have peacocks in Romania too, you know!”

Miss Mexico

“That’s cute, Romania.”





Miss Nigeria

“Nigeria would like to thank Pier One Imports for sponsoring this costume.”





Miss Vietnam

 “Vietnam is here to bring beauty, taste, and dignity to this vulgar spectacle.”




Miss Dominican Republic

 “Fuck that noise, Vietnam.”




Miss Poland

“In Poland, we wear our dignity like flowers in our hair, not by putting a gold toilet seat on our heads and acting superior. #sorrynotsorry.”




Miss Korea

“Korea agrees that Vietnam should get the hell over herself. Like that bitch invented class or something.”




Miss Myanmar

 “You guys talking smack about Vietnam? I’m in. That ho acts like she shits ice cream.”





Miss Aruba

“Aruba thinks bitches who talk about taste and dignity look like shit in bikinis.”







[Photo Credit: Darren Decker/Miss Universe]

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