Miss Universe 2013 National Costumes – Part 2

Posted on November 08, 2013

The crazy train keeps rolling along, bitches. Part 1 is here. Part THREE is coming soon to a screen near you.





Miss Sweden

“Sweden is here to crush its enemies and hear the lamentations of their women! SWEDEN IS NO LONGER FUCKING AROUND. I’ll take out this whole front row if I have to!”




Miss Bolivia

“Bolivia is the world’s leader in rainbow-colored cocaine!”




Miss Panama

“FEATHERS, bitches! Panama has them!”



Miss Trinidad & Tobago

“Pffft. Amateur.”





Miss Switzerland

“Soft, fluffy, and half-naked. That’s the SWISS way!”




Miss Russia

 “Eat my Russian shit, Lady Gaga.”




Miss Venezuela

“Am I a woman or a flamboyant gay man? HAHAHAHAHA. How badly do you want to know?”





Miss Tanzania

 “Talk to the fan, bitches. I am making this shit work.”




Miss Czech Republic

“Come enjoy the millions of theme restaurants we have in the Czech Republic! Try the chipotle hot wings!”





Miss Slovak

“I am the Slovakian Venus, rising from cloth!”




Miss Jamaica

“Dude. It’s Jamaica. You’ll trip balls on our weed.”




Miss Guyana

“I am the advance guard from the legion of Guyanese Firebird Women who are bombarding the major metropolitan areas of the world with fireballs right… around… NOW!”




Miss Finland

 “Yeah, that’s right. FINLAND’S DRUNK. Take a good look, assholes.”





Miss Chile

 “Chile! The yeast infection capitol of the WORLD.”




Miss Slovenia

“Yeah, it’s a cocktail dress. So what?  You tell me the last time Slovenia won an international beauty contest.”




Miss Belgium

“Just look what Belgian girls who lost their luggage can do with a trip to the CVS Halloween aisle! BELGIAN INNOVATION.”



Miss Australia

“Fuck if I know. When do I get my beer?”

Miss Norway

 “Norway is the word’s leading exporter of modesty. Wrists are sinful.”




Miss Canada

 “MOUNT ME! It’s what you’re all thinking, right? Go fuck yourselves. Canada’s sick of your bullshit.”




Miss Singapore

“… and this cluster represents my various hopes and dreams, such as this one, where I’m a superhero. Or this one, where I don’t have to wear ugly shit in public.”



Miss Lithuania

 “Miss Norway’s a ho.”



Miss Botswana

“Meeting Slovenia in the lobby bar for drinks after this. Who’s in?”



Miss Angola

“Ice Warriors of Angola, RIDE! The Guyanese Firebirds are on the attack!”



Miss Bulgaria

 “Norway and Lithuania have burning, itchy putkas.”





[Photo Credit: Darren Decker/Miss Universe]

Please review our Community Guidelines before posting a comment. Thank you!

blog comments powered by Disqus