2013 CMA Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on November 07, 2013

YeeHAW, kittens! It was the CMA Awards and the red carpet was a veritable tribute to blandness and conformity!

Hit it, color-free people! We’re fixin’ to judge ya!




Carrie Underwood in Ralph & Russo Couture

 Somehow, even when she tries to sexy it up, she comes across like a big pile of cotton candy.


Cassadee Pope

 The subway map effect gets a little overwhelming at parts.



Colbie Caillat

Beige sparkles. Nothing else need be said.



Danielle Bradbery in BCBG Max Azria

 It’s colorless, but at least it’s got some goofy-looking elements to give the eye something to do.



Faith Hill in Lanvin

Dull as dishwater. So characterless, she’s almost invisible. We don’t think white’s in her wheelhouse, but if she absolutely must, then she should pick a more striking garment than this to wear. Like a white suit, for instance.



Jana Kramer in Theia

Credit due: one of the more striking and memorable looks of the night. Of course, that’s not hard when everyone came dressed in the non-colors of Holiday Inn decor.


Jennifer Nettles in Naeem Khan

 We’re not in love with the way the skirt attaches, but we’d fall all over ourselves praising this dress if it was rendered in a rich color, the way God intended it.


Kacey Musgraves in Blumarine

Oh please. Dolly Parton thinks you’re lazy.



Kellie Pickler in Georges Chakra Couture

It all looks good, but it’s instantly forgettable.



Kimberly Perry in Johanna Johnson

 Winter wedding.




Kimberly Williams-Paisley in Monique Lhuillier




Laura Bell Bundy

 Whorehouse curtains.

If you pull on her tail, a butler approaches you and asks if you need anything.



Lauren Alaina in ASOS

 Our eyes! They are blinded by the sudden, intense color!

Somehow, this looks like a prom dress for an 80-year-old.



Miranda Lambert in Roberto Cavalli


Praise Jesus. At least SOMEONE’S not afraid to put it all out there, country-style.


Sheryl Crow

 You know what? That’s a pretty hot look for her. We dig that she’s so polished. Sure, the dress is black, but the jewelry deployment is masterful.






[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

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