Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Jennifer Aniston in Christian Dior

Posted on August 15, 2013

It seems like we’ve spent years bitching at, whining to, pleading with and cajoling Miss Jennifer to embrace the idea of color, pattern, and  shape in her poledance costumes, because she constantly defaults to column-like neutral dresses. Oh, right. It has been years. It’s practically been our life’s work for the past half-decade.

So we don’t know if the following means we should take a victory lap or offer our most profound apologies.


Jennifer Aniston attends the European premiere of “We’re The Millers” at Odeon West End, London in a Christian Dior dress paired with Casadei sandals and Fred Leighton jewelry.

Casadei Pre-Fall 2013 Sandal

From tip to toe, everything here is a pretty radical departure for Miss Jen. Along with the personality-less dresses she favors, she also tends toward pin-straight flat hair and naked shoes which leave her entire foot uncovered except for one thin strip. She’s made some noise in relatively recent interviews that she knows she needs to break out of her style rut, so she’s being true to her word here and we really, really, really respect that.

But girl.

We don’t really hate it, but we think it’s completely wrong for her. Jen, honey. Embrace pattern. Embrace shapes. But embrace those versions that actually work for you, dear. This is a little girl’s dress. If you can be accused of having a personal style at all, then it’s something of a very grownup, California sophisticate kind of style. You can’t go from that to dressing in frilly pillowcases and sporting big hair. The little floral is not the kind of print we’d have picked for her. Big geometrics, dramatically large prints. That’s the way to go with Jen. We also think that neckline is absolutely horrible for her and she needs something lower to elongate her neck. We think a skirt shaped like this can definitely work for her, but not with the horribly twee double hem and not with the waist sitting so high on her.

Sweetie, box this up and send it off to Kiernan Shipka, who would probably know best what to do with it. Let’s go look at some Carolina Herrera or Oscar de la Renta for you, mkay?



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