The problem with taking a rare few days off is that some celebrity somewhere is going to do something and you’re going to wish you could cover it in a timely manner but then the beach and strawberry daiquiris (not to mention epic naps) beckon and the next thing you know several days have gone by and everyone else already featured the pictures.
But fuck that, these pictures are EVERYTHING to us at the moment and we couldn’t not feature them. They literally made us clap and laugh.
Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco shop at BevMo! and Gelson’s market in Los Angeles.
Bottega Veneta Intrecciato Hobo Bag
Now, you would be right to scratch your head and wonder why such innocuous photos would make T Lo laugh and clap. Allow us to explain.
Don’t scratch your head in public, dear. People will think you have lice.
You see, when you spend the better part of a year writing a book that deals, in part, with all the hilarious and quite transparent ways celebrities work to keep themselves viable and ensure that everyone’s looking at them, goofily staged shit like this is Manna from heaven. There’s an entire chapter in our book dealing with the art of the public celebrity relationship but these two are ticking off so many “canoodling” boxes here that a whole textbook on how to manage a mutually beneficial public relationship could be written about them. First, we love that he’s dressed in Superman colors. Let’s not forget what this is all about. Second, we love that they’re rather conspicuously buying enough groceries to feed an orphanage. Because don’t we all do that the very instant we start dating someone? Go out and buy 400 dollars’ worth of toilet paper and chicken breasts with them? Third, the $2000 bag, which speaks for itself. And finally, the grasping and pawing at each other while inexplicably laughing and pretending not to notice the cameras trained on them. It’s glorious. We salute you two kids. You’re working that parking lot like one giant stripper pole.
[Photo Credit: Juan Sharma, PacificCoastNews.com, RCF/INFphoto.com, barneys.com]