Project Runway: The Golden Girls

Posted on March 01, 2013

We cringed through this whole episode. Not because we dislike senior ladies, but because “real woman” challenges inevitably (and by design) push the buttons of the viewership and there’s always at least one designer who reaches down, grabs their own foot, and shoves it in their mouth, chomping away on the delicious taste of ass-hattery.


But the designers are either very camera-savvy or they’re much nicer than the designers of past seasons, because except for one or two moments of fit or design issues rearing their heads and causing frustration, no one had a bad thing to say about their client, nor did they wind up complaining about having to design for someone over a size 2.


It helped that the ladies were all very sweet and loads of fun.



So congrats to Stanley! You applied the Number One rule of “Real Woman” challenges: ALWAYS PICK THE CLIENT THAT LOOKS MOST LIKE A MODEL. Very wise choice, Stanley.

But to be fair, we really do think this look was the best or one of the best. The fit on the pants is wonky and the jacket seems a bit restrictive, but this was chic and highly flattering to the client.



Ugh. PLEASE, bitches. We love ourselves some Joan Rivers (and Rachel Roy, for that matter), but that was one hell of a crack-infused judging session. We suspect the results on the runway were collectively so bad that they struggled to find ways to compliment the looks because they didn’t want to make a bunch of old ladies cry.

This is a roundabout way of saying that this hospital gown is HIDEOUS and everyone on that judges’ panel who used the word “chic” to describe it should immediately be drug tested.



Another one that got wildly over-praised. “Welcome back!” said Nina to Daniel. To which we queried, “From where? The land of ill-fitting suits?”



This really was quite cute. One thing that annoyed us about the judging was how issues of practicality never came up. We would have thought that Joan was there to offer the senior woman’s perspective, but let’s face it, she’s not the average senior woman. Our point is, this looks great, but we doubt this lady would be able to get in or out of such a restrictive top easily. And it’s too tight across her midsection.



HORRIFYING. She looks like Robin Hood’s angry mother-in-law.




This poor gal. She looked PISSED and we don’t blame her. When is Princess Water Lily’s big bag of bullshit going to get the old heave-ho from the judges? We think she’s talented; but as an artist, not a fashion designer.



Cute enough. A little sloppy, but the print goes a long way in hiding the mistakes. We just think it’s a skosh too short and we wanted to hear what the client thought of that.



Cute. Maybe a bit too retro. You don’t put retro dresses on the ladies who wore them the last time they were in style. Otherwise, it looks like she hasn’t changed her wardrobe in 50 years. Great print, though.

We argued a bit about Michelle last night. Lorenzo thinks she’s a bitch who badmouths too many people behind their backs. Tom thinks she’s just honest and points out that she seems to get along with just about everybody and tends to take criticism fairly well, even when she disagrees with it.




Credit where it’s due: this is a complete, polished look. You can’t say that about everyone’s efforts. We sided with Joan’s view that a lady with a buzzcut, tattoos, and an ankle bracelet wants to wear a dress like this – and more importantly, should. Having said that, we didn’t think the yellow of the top went well with the print.



Sad and drab. She tried to course-correct by adding some details (like those sleeves) more suited for a younger woman. We kept yelling at our screen last night, as she complained over and over again about how to use this print in a way that defines her client’s waist, “HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF A WRAP DRESS, GIRL?”



And it’s Auf Wiedersehen to Benjamin, which shocked the shit out of us because we were sure Amanda had an expiration date flashing on her forehead. We’re of two minds. If you’re looking at the work cumulatively, then Benjamin should stay. But if you’re really auf’ing the person with the worst design, then Benjamin should absolutely go. This was stiff, ill-fitted, and 50 years out of style.


[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for Lifetime – Stills:]

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