Zachary Quinto in John Varvatos

Posted on December 04, 2012

Zachary, Tom would like to have a word with you. Lorenzo is mannequin-sized, so he’s going to sit down and shut up.


Zachary Quinto attends The Trevor Project’s 2012 Trevor Live! event in John Varvatos.

John Varvatos Spring 2013 Collection

You see, Zachary, men like us – large and shaped roughly like a brick – we can’t really get away with certain styles; especially certain slim-cut styles that look wonderful on tiny little bite-sized models. You, Zachary, are lovely in many ways, but not in the way that allows you to wear a jacket cut like this without looking like a 12-year-old who shot up faster than his mother could get him to the department store to get fitted for new clothes; new clothes which you will then outgrow in another 6 months when you have another growth spurt, causing your mother to start drinking and declaring that you’ll wear that damn jacket and LIKE IT because she’s not spending any more money on clothes with an expiration date shorter than the average tub of cottage cheese.

Whoa. We seem to have gone off on a little tangent, haven’t we? The point is, at some point, you, Zachary, are going to have to realize the limitations imposed on you by nature. But hey, you’re tall and naturally broad-shouldered. Console yourself with that. Now go home and find something that fits.

Also, your pants are too long, no doubt because your mom didn’t want to get them hemmed if you’re just going to outgrow them in 3 months.


[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos,]

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