Presenting… Miss Kristen Stewart, in the ongoing melodrama that T Lo likes to make up about her red carpet appearances.
Kristen Stewart attends the premiere of ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2’ in Madrid, Spain in a Christian Dior dress paired with Barbara Bui shoes.
Last time on “As the Red Carpet Turns,” and the time before that, Kristen got fed up with shrieking fangurls who called her a slut and a vapid press who likes portmanteaus a little too much and dubbed her a “Trampire.” She took out her frustrations by literally presenting her ass to both groups and advising them to kindly kiss it. But uh-oh! Evil studio heads sent out their minions to snap Miss Kristen back into line and force her into something bright, sunny, and non-threatening to the public! Kristen complied, but passive-aggressively got her revenge by picking a dress that gives her a huge butt and doesn’t fit her correctly. Also: not wearing any underwear.
Tune in next time to see what else she does to piss The Man off!
Note for the eternally offended: Everything above has been completely made up, including, but not limited to, the part about her not wearing any underwear. The fact that this dress doesn’t fit her well, is true, however. Also: we love the shoes.
[Photo Credit: Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images]