Brad Pitt at ‘Killing Them Softly’ Premiere

Posted on November 27, 2012


Which is kind of an ironic thing to blurt out, considering you look like Homeless Jesus here.

Brad Pitt attends the screening of his new film ‘Killing Them Softly’ at the School Of Visual Arts Theatre in New York City.

“I’m Brad Pitt and I fear, deep down in the recesses of my soul, that I only have my longstanding career because many heterosexual women and homosexual men want to have sex with me, due to my genetic superiority. This has caused me to question my worth as an actor and I act out on this feeling of inferiority by making sure I look like shit in public, thereby constantly testing the theory that people only love me because of my strong jaw and low bodyfat. In short, I dress like shit in the hope that it makes me seem more interesting.”

Oh, boo-hoo, you whiner. Suck it up. You think Chanel paid you a gazillion dollars to make those ridiculous ads because they loved your performance in Moneyball? Go home; do the whole shower-shave-shit thing, and have one of your two dozen children iron an outfit for you.

You do not run with a biker gang, Brad Pitt. Get the hell over it.

[Photo Credit:]

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