No awards ceremony that dubs Justin Bieber the Artist of the Year deserves a moment of consideration, but there are dresses to rip, so we feel compelled to offer bitchy, drive-by assessments, darlings.
Hit it, chanteuses and contractually obligated ABC stars!
Uh… no. It’s like a strong wind ripped away parts of her dress. And those tiger booties are an awful choice.
Carly Rae Jepsen in Gomez-Gracia
It’s alright. We’re thinking halters are Not Her Neckline. She looks small up top.
Carrie Underwood in Abed Mahfouz
We don’t love the high neckline on her but we’re so thrilled she’s in a rich color for once that we don’t care. This might be a personal best for her.
Elisha Cuthbert in Georges Chakra
Not a bad dress, but blondes need to be careful about picking golds that don’t match their hair color too closely. Also: this needed hemming.
Ginnifer Goodwin in Oscar de la Renta
Sad crazy doll.
It’s a little standard in a lot of ways, but kudos to her for wearing such an unusual color.
Hayden Panettiere in Giorgio Armani
The dress is okay, but the accessories are terrible. She definitely needed pops of color. And her makeup looks weird to us.
Heidi Klum in Alexandre Vauthier
We are so not loving the high necklines and cap sleeves we’re seeing lately. Maybe because they’re on the wrong gals. Curvy ones should stay away. Her boobs look squished. Don’t even get us started on the slit and the matchy shoes. This is bad, Heidster.
Jennifer Morrison in Abed Mahfouz
Credit where it’s due: it’s really dramatic, which is not normally in her wheelhouse. The Angelina stance is unfortunate, as is the shoe choice. We could’ve done without the weird shoulder thingies.
Jenny McCarthy in Dolce&Gabbana
Uh… okay. Kind of an odd look. Not bad, exactly, just … odd. We’re not so sure on the Sheena Easton hair and the skirt looks a bit too tight.
Jordin Sparks in Etro
Oh, honey, NO. This is hideous.
Kelly Rowland in Naeem Khan
Kerry Washington in Stella McCartney
It’s different, we’ll give it that. Beautiful color, but we hate the accessories she chose and the dress looks too big on her.
It’s cute when they try to dress normally, isn’t it? Like putting a sweater on a cat.
Lucy Hale in Elizabeth and James
It’s a shame it’s so wrinkled, because it’s kind of a cute look on her. The lip clutch is fun.
Nicki Minaj in Monique Lhuillier
Fabulous and cray.
Pink in Catherine Deane
Interesting, but the shape does nothing for her. That bodice is way too Xena.
Stacy Keibler in Collette Dinnigan
Jesus Christ, those legs are INSANE. Work ’em, girl!
Taylor Swift in Zuhair Murad
Pretty, but colorless. This could also apply to the dress.
Zendaya Coleman in Alice + Olivia
[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans, David Gabber/PR Photos]