Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Penelope Cruz

Posted on September 18, 2012

Oh, PennyChica. This is so wrong.


Penelope Cruz attends the premiere of ‘Twice Born’ during the 2012 Toronto International Film Festival in a vintage Atelier Versace gown paired with Swarovski jewelry.

First, there’s the Barbie-Pink color. That’s not working with your skin tone, dear. Second, that bust is for the gals with the smaller shelves. You can’t add that much twist and drape to a set of boobs that really don’t need any help getting attention on their own. Third, there’s the ruching on half of the torso, which causes a nice little trompe l’oeil effect that adds extra inches exactly where most ladies would never want extra inches added. And finally, there’s the mega-high slit, which throws the whole thing off, proportionally. Basically, this dress looks like you put it on in the dark and got it all twisted up.

Sweetie, pack this dress up and send it off to … well, it doesn’t really matter. Just pack it up and get it out of your life.


[Photo Credit: Getty]

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