Lady Madonna

Posted on January 12, 2012

You guys, Madonna dressed her age and she didn’t instantly combust! Could she have learned her lesson? Probably not, because her spin on “A lady always wears gloves” is kind of hilariously wrong.


Madonna attends photocall for W.E in London.

You will note that this dress is quite tight, shows quite a bit of cleavage, and even exposes her bra a bit, yet we still consider this “dressing her age,” which, to us doesn’t mean she can’t be sexy or show off her body. It means she does so in a way that shows some confidence and experience, rather than in the desperate, attention-seeking manner of a much younger woman whose self esteem is caught up in how good other people think she looks, which was a perfectly fine schtick to flog 3 decades ago, but took on the whiff of pathetic once the first digit became a 5.

Great dress, though. The color’s perfect and it’s got a chicness to balance out the sexiness. A bit too tight on her, though (no surprise there) and we can’t tell if all that stuff at her neck is jewelry or part of the dress, but either way, she’d be better off without it.

Apparently, she got sick of hearing how veiny her hands are and we don’t blame her. This is probably the worst possible way to deal with the criticism, though. All it does is draw attention to her hands and point out that she’s wearing something on them that really doesn’t go with the rest of the look.

Dress shields, Madge. They’re a good thing.

And if you thought those gloves were distracting and silly, check out her formal versions:

Madonna attends premiere of ‘W.E.’ in London in a Jean Paul Gaultier dress. Cape by Dolce & Gabbana. Gloves and bag by Chanel. Shoes by Yves Saint Laurent.

Sweetie, no. We’re telling you now, it’s not a good idea to try and make this a thing. You’re doing so well otherwise. This dress is also very pretty and sexy. It also suits you quite well; especially that side of you that wants to pretend you grew up in Italy or Spain. Your hair looks pretty; your makeup looks pretty. Everything’s really cooking here, hon. Don’t fuck it up with a pair of workout gloves. Just don’t.


[Photo Credit: Stuart Wilson, Gareth Cattermole, Chris Jackson/Getty Images]

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