Robert Downey Jr. Has a Foot Problem

Posted on December 13, 2011

We shan’t be INing or OUTing this one, darlings. Your opinions are not being solicited this time, because we can’t trust you to be objective with him. This time, you SIT, and you LISTEN. That sucks for you, but the good news is we found a way to use “shan’t” in a sentence, and that’s got to be pretty exciting for you, yes?

Now, let’s begin.


Robert Downey Jr. attends “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” Rome Photocall.

We will start this off by saying we adore RDJ as an actor. Truly. Name a movie he’s made – especially in the last ten years – and we’ll respond with “Oh, that was a fun movie. We loved that one,” or at the very least, “We hated that movie, but at least RDJ was fun in it.” The reason we’re saying this is because we’ve never featured him on the blog without expressing our extreme distaste for how he dresses. RDJ the actor? Love him. RDJ’s personal style? Bad bordering on offensive.

We are very pleased to see him in a suit that is neither shiny nor does it look like he rolled it into a little ball the night before and used it as a pillow. We are also happy to see properly hemmed (or as much as can be, considering what’s below them) pants and a tie properly knotted. The jacket’s a little short on him and the color looks geriatric to us, but we won’t make an issue of either. We will, on the other hand, make a serious issue of the footwear.

Look, if he wants to hit the RC or make the photocalls in something cheeky or with a little edge to it; fine. Just don’t do it with a suit. Put on your CBGB t-shirt and a pair of jeans if that’s the way you want to swing. But suits are made for shoes and if you don’t want to wear them – and you’re over the age of, oh…let’s be a little arbitrary and say 25* – THEN DON’T WEAR A SUIT. The sneakers-with-suits thing is both juvenile and overdone at the same time. A younger man might evoke Justin Bieber (who does dress like this and can mostly get away with it) but when you’re closing in on the Big 5-0, on your best day you’re evoking David Letterman, but mostly (and especially if you choose WHITE sneakers) you look like a senior citizen on a bus trip.

In other words, this doesn’t look “cool” to us; it looks dorky as hell. He’s such a charming, talented, good-looking man and every time he dresses like this we don’t think, “cool;” we think, “tool.”

Oh, go ahead and give your opinion. As if we could stop you.

* Age is flexible, but 46 is definitely past the sell-by date.

[Photo Credit: Insidefoto/PR Photos]

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