Pairs Division: Minogue and Velencoso

Posted on November 28, 2011

Australian glamour coming your way, bitches! Brace yourselves!

Kylie Minogue and her boyfriend Andres Velencoso attend the 2011 ARIA Awards in Sydney, Australia. Kylie Minogue wears a Richard Nicoll gown.

Richard Nicoll Spring 2012 Collection/Model: Sara Blomqvist

Oh Kylie. We will never stop loving you, you crazy little sex pixie.

SHE: Is still a crazy little sex pixie, but this time she’s a pixie in a silly dress. It’s funny. Looking at all the straps and flounces and ruffles and gewgaws all over this thing, it’s amazing how little of it covers her up. It’s like a dress made entirely out of notions, which, come to think of it, would make a fun Project Runway challenge. Everything about this is awkward and overdone. We love you, girl, but there’s no coming back from this one. Score: 4/10. We’ll give her a couple points for effort.

HE: Is an international male model, genetically blessed, and has his arm around a girl wearing a dress held together with spit and hope. The least he could have done is put a modicum of effort in. This is just okay. Score: 5/10. He doesn’t actually look bad, but he doesn’t look stylish or head-turning either. And if you’re a genetically blessed international male model, isn’t it your duty to look stylish and head-turning? Rhetorical question.

Combined Score: 4.5/10. Tsk.

[Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images,]

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