Pairs Division: Jolie and Pitt

Posted on August 01, 2011

NEWSFLASH: Two genetically superior superstars continue to pretend like they’re not.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attend the closing ceremony of the 17th Sarajevo Film Festival. Angelina Jolie is wearing an Elie Saab dress.

Elie Saab Spring 2011 Collection/Model: Constance Jablonski (ELITE)

They’re looking a little haggard there, kittens. One of them needs some nutritional support and the other one needs moisturizer and a shave. We’ll let you guess which one’s which.

HE: Needs to seriously reconsider the hair. There was a time, ten years ago, when he would have looked pretty stunning rocking hair like this. But that time is gone, Brad. The beard needs shaving, the hair needs a trim and the shoes need to GO. The suit is actually quite nice. And because we’re thrilled that he did the two most important things when posing without a tie: he made sure his shirt collar was standing up and he buttoned his jacket – we’re inclined to forget the mistakes happening above the neck. Score: 7/10.

SHE: Is wearing a color, and that just might mean that the sky will open up and fire will rain down from the heavens. It’s not a vibrant, memorable, or head-turning color – it’s not even a color that suits her that well – so we’re probably safe for now. The dress is pretty, if a little plain. Very much in the Jolie wheelhouse. The big sash around her waist gives it a bit too much of a bathrobe feel, however. The makeup is low-key, but the hair is too low-key. A little something-something there might have bumped up the look considerably. The shoes are standard stylist-issued and the jewelry is mostly non-existent. Like him, she looks good, but not great.  Score: 7.5/10.

Combined score: 7.25/10. They’re both wearing decent enough garments but only look okay, all things considered. This is a couple who could both look stunning with very little effort and yet they persist on looking slightly better than average most of the time they step out. Tsk. You have wasted your genetic material as well as whatever money y’all paid to surgically enhance it, Brad & Angie. T Lo does NOT approve.



[Photo Credit: Getty,]

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